A Life Defined

John 4:7-38

The APA Dictionary of Psychology defines “shame” as “a highly unpleasant self-conscious emotion arising from the sense of there being something dishonorable… in one’s conduct or circumstances. It is typically characterized by withdrawal from social intercourse…”

We read yesterday that the Samaritan woman was at the well at noon, a typically unfavorable time due to the heat. However, she was there alone, safe from social interaction. Based on this behavior, it appears that the Samaritan woman operated in shame.

How does Jesus respond to someone who feels shame?

The Samaritan woman likely experienced shame from both her circumstances and her conduct. At this time, women didn’t usually have the autonomy to get a divorce - that was initiated by the man. So, if this woman had five husbands, they all chose to divorce her. While the text itself doesn’t explain why, the culture at the time would’ve considered infertile or unfaithful women worthy of divorce.

After five men decided that she was no longer lovable, perhaps by no fault of her own, this woman sought love from someone she wasn’t married to and avoided community. She had no honor in this society, so she operated out of deep shame.

While Jesus clearly knew this woman’s circumstances, he did not treat her like the men who divorced her or the society that distanced themselves from her. He did not treat her as inferior because of her nationality or gender. He did not rebuke her because of her sin or criticize her for her circumstances.

He leaned in and offered her a new life. A life defined by connection to God, not by any circumstance or conduct. A life free from shame because the one who created her has freed her.

If shame is characterized by withdrawal from social interaction, verse 28 shows a woman free from shame. A conversation with Jesus brought her from deeply ashamed to deeply secure momentarily, from withdrawn to telling the whole town about her encounter with Jesus.

This is how Jesus meets people in shame. He comes near and offers Himself - the living water. When the broken world tells us we are unworthy or when our own sin causes us to hide, Jesus comes close and reminds us that we are defined not by circumstance or conduct but by His redeeming love.

Where are you tempted to define yourself by your conduct? Where are you tempted to define yourself by your circumstances? What would define yourself by your connection to Jesus, the living water, rather than your conduct or circumstances?