Erasing Shame Through the Gospel

 By Chelsy Kessler, Resonate Moscow

Shame is a universal feeling. Brené Brown describes it as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that you are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging” (Daring Greatly, pg 69). We have all felt the tight grip of shame that leads us to live a life that is continuously fighting to prove to the world that we deserve to be loved. Shame is one of the most used tools from an ever scheming enemy. Shame lies to us about who we are, shoving us into the dark where we too easily forget our created identities given to us by an ever-loving and gracious God. 

Peter, the man in whom Jesus proclaimed he would build his church upon (Matthew 16:18), knew shame. He knew that painful feeling well. Peter was one of Jesus’ closest disciples. He is quick to say great things (Matthew 16:16-17), and he is quick to say something that requires Jesus to respond with, “Get behind me, Satan!” (Matthew 16:22-23). We even read about how he is quick to defend Jesus to the point of cutting a man’s ear off (Luke 22:50). However, right before the morning of Jesus’ crucifixion, Peter, who was so zealous and bold in following Jesus, denies him three times. 

“Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!” (Matthew 26:27) 

We can’t know for sure, but I imagine Peter was not so quick to face Jesus right after this.

Can you imagine going from cutting off a man’s ear in defense of Jesus to denying him hours later? Can you envision the shame Peter must have felt when he heard that rooster’s crow, realizing that he had denied the very man he had declared, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and death” (Luke 22:33)? 

I can. Shame is the old friend that comes in the dead of night. It comes when I desperately try to close my eyes and disappear. It comes close and whispers, “Hide (Genesis 3:10). You are way too damaged (Luke 7:39). You are worthless.” 

I can feel myself sinking deeper, believing those voices. “You’re right,” I say. “I must hide. I am unredeemable. I am unworthy. I’m a mistake. Who could ever love me? Who would ever want me? I am too broken, so damaged.” 

Those are lies straight from the pits of hell. 

Praise God, Jesus took those lies straight to the grave and left them there as he rose to declare a much mightier truth.    

Jesus, who was entirely God, came to earth wrapped in human flesh, lived a life we could never, died on a cross carved out for us, and rose again in a victory we could never have achieved. Because of this, we are called out of hiding (2 Corinthians 4:6). We are called redeemed (Galatians 3:13). We are called beloved sons and daughters of the Most High God (1 John 3:1). 

“Me? I am called those things?”

Yes, you. You who slept with that guy. You who smoked that blunt. You who cheated on that test. You who gossiped about that friend. Yes, you who are clinging so tightly to the shame,  Jesus took with him to the cross. That shame is dead. It not longer has the power over the one Jesus has claimed for himself. 

Jesus came for you. Not only that, but he has wrapped you in a righteousness you could never attain. He has brought you into a light that seemed too bright before. He has called you son. He has called you daughter. 

“When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

Again Jesus said, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

The third time he said to him, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” (John 21:15-17). 

Peter denied Jesus three times. Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. Jesus doesn’t ask Peter to prove himself three times or to promise never to deny him again. For each denial, there was a restoration for Peter.

Jesus knows we humans are a fickle bunch. We too often believe the lies shame regularly tells us. Jesus doesn't condemn. He doesn’t sigh in exasperation at how quickly we fall into the pit again. No, he reminds us of the Gospel. Just as he redeemed Peter, he redeems us. 

When shame tries to whisper the lies of damaged worthlessness, listen for the tender voice that is whispering, “I came for you. I purchased you with my blood. Sweet child, return to me. I love you. Do you love me?”