Bury Grumbling with Thanksgiving
By Sarah Horgan, Resonate Pullman
My grandmother used to tell me when I pouted that I better watch out or a little bird would come perch on my stuck-out lip. If you haven’t heard that one, you probably have heard: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” This and similar adages are ways of discouraging complaining. It’s clear that as Christians we are not to complain, but have you ever considered why? And even if you know why, why is it so hard to stop?
Paul says in Philippians 2:12, “Do everything without complaining or arguing.” To understand this verse better, we can study the meaning of the words "complain" and "argue." In doing so, we may clearly hear the author's intention for our lives.
On the Desiring God website, writer Scott Hubbard uses the word “grumbling” to encompass both these words. This is the word, by the way, that is used many times in the Old Testament to describe the Israelites in the desert. They grumbled constantly towards God: that He should have left them as slaves in Egypt, that they didn’t have water, and that God was being unfair to them. “Grumbling” is not a characteristic you want to be known for, not the word you want inscribed on your tomb one day.
Grumbling can include expressions, Hubbard says, like “venting,” “being honest,” and “getting something off my chest.” Sometimes these sorts of terms are used to couch grumbling. However, it’s important to differentiate between different ways of expressing negative thoughts, because not all of them are bad. Paul is not saying that Christians are never allowed to express a negative thought (Paul does this himself; see Galatians 2:11, 2 Corinthians 12:8); but there are differences between grumbling and other actions that Christians are allowed and even instructed to do. For example: lamenting, righteously protesting or correcting another, and seeking counsel about a negative situation. The big difference between grumbling and righteously expressing some sort of disappointment includes two important factors: obedience and faith.
I learned how obedience and faith go hand in hand in this way during a particularly trying soccer season in college. My team was struggling, and losing a lot. We had a new coach who seemed harsh and unsympathetic, and who many of us felt was not coaching us towards success. It became habitual for us to criticize her decisions, and it felt okay because after all, it was true--right? When people in our lives act carelessly, it seems right to complain and criticize. Yet, grumbling is actually an act of unbelief. When you complain, you are covertly saying that God is unjust, or that God is not able to redeem bad situations and sinful people.
That’s the faith part. In the middle of that season, someone said to me, “What if instead of complaining about your coach, you championed her?” What that meant for me as a junior in college was being willing to speak positively about a coach with a bad track record because I believed that God was in control of the situation, and that God, rather than my negative words, could bring light to a bad situation. To champion someone means to search for and proclaim the beautiful and good things that exist in that person’s life, instead of focusing on the bad things. This doesn’t mean lying, or spouting off vague and cliché descriptions like store-bought inspirational signs. It means doing the work, of looking for the positive things in that persons’ life, as well as trusting (yes, faith again) that the seeds of beauty and grace that God has planted are there (maybe just dormant) and perhaps need some watering.
Abstaining from grumbling is easier if we bury those thoughts with words of love and thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6). Grumbling is part of what Paul calls our “old man,” or the old self that dies when we are crucified with Christ (Romans 6:6), and praising God for his salvation is a way to keep the old man in his place. As believers, we always have something to be thankful for, no matter what situation we are in. Take Paul’s example: before he wrote this letter to his beloved friends in Philippi, he endured a lot of suffering in their city. He was beaten, then wrongly imprisoned; yet, while he was shackled to the cell wall, unable to sleep from the pain and discomfort in his body, he sang loud songs of praise to God. Christians always have something to be thankful for, because we have someONE to be thankful for: our savior Jesus Christ.
Thanksgiving is an act of obedience and faith. The not-so-secret truth is that whether we grumble or give thanks, it is not just an act we do because God says so; it is also an act that transforms the heart, whether for evil or for good. If you don’t believe me, give it a try: replace your grumbling with the championing of others, and thanksgiving and praise to God, and see what happens. Let’s bury that “old man” with praise to our God!
(The Psalms are full of examples of this, and we can write our own songs of praise to God too. Sound daunting? It’s not. Here’s a quick and easy activity to show you how easy it is to praise God.)
