God Sees This Injustice - Deon’s Story

By Deon Daniels, Resonate Bozeman

Photo courtesy Paige Campbell, @campbellandco.photo (on insta)

From a young age, I was taught that being Black meant that I will be viewed differently than the people around me. As horrible as it sounds, people do judge you based on the color of your skin. I vividly remember, when I was about 10 years old, my mom sitting me and my brother down on her bed. She said to us, “If you ever EVER get stopped by the police, you comply with everything they say. You do not argue, fight, or talk back in any way to a cop.” She said her fear was that her sons would die by police brutality, and there was nothing that she could do about it. This was when I was 10. A 10-year-old boy growing up knowing to fear the police. A 10-year-old boy having a fear of dying. A 10-year-old boy having a fear of family members dying. A 10-year-old boy having a fear that God will not keep me safe. When I see George Floyd, Botham Jean, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and so many others who look just like me being unjustly killed, all these fears come flooding back to the surface. We as Black people are in pain, are afraid and we feel alone.

The hard pill to swallow is that racism is real, unjust police brutality is happening, and people are hurting deeply. I am confused, afraid, and hurt, and honestly, I know God sees the Black community suffering right now, but it's hard for me to see Him grieving with us.

Currently, I live in Bozeman, Montana, and I work at Montana State University (MSU). According to the most recent American Community Survey, the population of Bozeman in 2020 is 52,035 people. The racial composition is broken up as such: 48,059 (92.36%) identify as White and 313 (0.6%) identify as Black. At MSU’s campus, they report that 16,766 students are enrolled. Out of those, 14,035 (83.7%) identify as White, 70 (0.4%) identify as Black, and 816 (4.8%) identify as two or more races. The friends I moved to Bozeman with to help start a church plant at MSU are all White. Everyone around me is White, which makes it extremely easy to feel completely alone when injustice like this happens. No one around me understands what I am going through. This is when the lies come creeping in - the lies of I am alone and God has left me, God has forgotten me and the Black community so I must take matters into my own hands, and I can bring justice better than God can. 

The hardest thing about these lies is that they’re too easy to believe. I want to fight because I feel like God is not fighting for me. I want to speak out as loud as I can because it seems no one around me will speak with me. I want people to see my pain, and I feel like no one cares about it because it does not directly affect them. I am convinced people know that injustice is happening, yet don’t want to talk about it because it makes them uncomfortable. This discomfort is what Black people feel every day because of the color of their skin. While I’m wrapped up in anger and pain, it’s hard for me to see all that God is doing right in front of me. However, I need to remember the Gospel. Jesus came and lived a life that no person could ever live. He showed his love for both Black and White people by dying on the cross because of all our sins (Romans 5:8). This includes the sin of racism. But, praise God that he defeated death for both Black and White people to be claimed as sons and daughters of the Most High God.

Hebrews tells us that we believe in an empathetic high priest and Jesus understands our suffering, feels the pain of racism, and is grieving with the Black community. Conversations about racism and police brutality are happening more and more. People are seeing that this is not just a battle for Black people to fight but a battle that all humankind must fight. Even when it feels like the world is so divided, in many ways God is uniting us. He is pruning us and showing us that we are and will always be His people. However, please do not let this truth make us blind to people’s pain. Listen to the people around you and meet them where they are. See injustice and speak out against it. Seek to model Christ and live your life for the Kingdom of Christ. Pursue being in the presence of God and know He wants a relationship with you. Scripture welcomes you to cast “all of your anxieties on Him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). God cares for you and me. God wants us all to know that He is real and He wants a relationship with us. Plead with Him and tell Him your fear and disbelief. He has heard everything before and nothing you tell Him will be a surprise. He wants to hear from you and wants you to experience His love and grace, which is available to all His people. God is with us, right here, right now. 

Moving forward, many of us are asking the question “What can we do to help our Black brothers and sisters fight this fight?” This is the sweetest thing, seeing God’s people want to help fight for justice. But remember, currently it is a time of grief and processing for the Black community. It is an overwhelming feeling when you are the only Black person in your community. Please stop assuming that I or other Black people are an authority on how every Black person feels. Don’t assume we are ready to share or express our feelings at any given moment. First, seek to understand the person you are approaching. The beauty of people is that God has created us uniquely and given us all different stories, so don’t assume that I have the same experience as your other Black friends. Please stop making these assumptions. Assumptions like these hurt. I find myself frustrated with how White people are responding. It’s difficult not to grow angry with them. In these moments, I am reminded of my brokenness and my continual need for a community pointing me back to Jesus. We must acknowledge that we all have broken, sinful hearts. We need to address our own prejudice, bias, and assumptions toward Black people. We all have them. Even I, a Black man, have them. The first step in standing up to injustice is to ask ourselves the hard questions in order to initiate the change we desire to see in the world. Ask yourself...

• Do I agree that there is injustice happening? Why do I agree or disagree?

• Do I want to help fight racial discrimination and systemic oppression? What are the fears, doubts, lies that I believe that hold me back from fighting for justice in my community?

• What is holding me back for speaking against the injustice of the Black people in my community? How can I love, hear, and value my Black friends better?

• Where am I not being a messenger of the Gospel and what is holding me back?

• How does Jesus respond to injustice and how does he tell us to respond?

Once we recognize our own sin and repent, we can begin living in the change we long to see. Taking action starts with transformation within our own hearts. The next steps are to educate yourself on Black culture and history. If you’re White this may seem intimidating and hard, but I want to assure you that it isn't as hard as you may think. Resonate has put together some content to help educate and move people forward in processing their own bias in order to take greater steps in standing up for the justice needed in our communities. Go to this link to have them sent directly to you: resonate.net/hey. 

Do not stop having these conversations when the “viral momentum” dies down. We must continue to seek out change even when it’s not a viral social media movement. It is very easy to hear a story like mine or another Black person and take that as complete truth. I am not the authority on everything it means to be Black and neither is your other Black friend. Ultimately, Jesus has all authority over all creation. He is God and promises that justice will prevail; we have no reason to doubt that promise. God has uniquely, purposefully, and wonderfully created us. He does not make mistakes. He does not create and deem one more valuable than the other. Jesus knew our names and knew our sins before we were even born. He loved us and claimed our worth as children of God by dying a death meant for us and giving us a life clothed in righteousness we did not earn. Let us be people who listen to those who are hurting around us, to hear their pain, and pray for them. Please don’t just fight the fight online; walk through this with your friends, family, and community. This includes having conversations with other White people who do not understand what's going on or still think racism and injustice do not exist. Even though it is extremely difficult, I deeply trust in my heart that God is moving in all of us. He will make Himself known and will be our Comforter, Strength, and Provider. God is not done moving and I'm excited to see how He will be glorified.